WE'RE ON YOUR TEAM!

At TRAILS it is very important for us to work closely with parents because we believe they are the PRIMARY social and emotional coach in a child’s life. We've put together a series of programs that focus on helping parents understand and then reframe neuropsychological issues that impact their child’s social and emotional functioning, and then provide practical "real life" solutions to foster success.

It is our goal for you to be able to see your child through "new lenses" and to give you specific, practical and positive ways for you to coach your child and improve your family relationships.

THE GOOD NEWS!

The long term debate between nature and nurture has actually been put to rest. It's not one or the other: it's both. The experiences we undergo change how our genes operate and literally "sculpts" the brain. Genes are designed to be regulated by signals from hormones, neurotransmitters, and these are both profoundly influenced by our social experiences.

You are your child's primary sculptor. Something that seems like a small intervention can have cascading effects. How you deal with your shy child, how you react to your child's emotions, and what you do when you help them think through problems literally shapes their brain.

The people in a child's life have an amazing opportunity to imprint their neuronal circuitry.

Have you ever been cross country skiing and seen how the tracks in the snow get deeper the more people take the trail? This is a good analogy for how neuronal pathways are strengthened in the brain. The first connections made in a neural circuit become stronger each time the same network gets followed, until they become so strong that they are the automatic route. Like a bonsai tree those neuronal circuits that are not used are literally "pruned" away like this bonsai tree and over the course of childhood and teen years, the brain will selectively lose half of those neurons, keeping the ones that are used, and dropping those that are neglected, as the child’s life experiences, including relationships, "sculpt" its brain. The more often an experience repeats, the stronger the habit becomes, and the denser the resulting neural connectivity.

A child with Inhibition/Attentional exhibits these struggles in the social/emotional arena:

• Seem to "act without thinking"
• Blurt out comments inappropriately
• Interrupt others
• Act too wild or "out of control"
• Are impulsive
• Seek high stimulation
• Are bored easily
• Risk takers
• Quickly pursues desires without consideration of consequences although they can often recite "rules" just fine
• Rush through tasks
• Do not complete tasks because of distraction and getting off track
• Can exhibit aggressive behavior either physically or verbally

A child with mental flexibility issues:

• Resists or has trouble accepting a different way to solve a problem
• Looks like they are self-absorbed but really just haven’t considered another person’s perspective or looked outside themselves in a situation
• Has a difficult time being told "no" or to "stop doing things"
• Finds new situations difficult; don't do well with novelty
• Are upset by a change in plans
• Do not transition well from one thing to the next
• Resist change of routine, foods, places
• Get stuck on one topic or activity
• Continues to do the same unsuccessful thing over and over despite negative feedback
• Persistents in "not so good ways"
• Insists on "their way or highway"
• Are rigid about how things are done
• Won't try new things

A child with emotional regulation struggles will often...

• React more strongly to situations that others
• Overreact to small problems
• Jump to conclusions from limited data and overreacts emotionally
• Take things overly personally and then react from that place
• Have difficulty mirroring and regulating their affect
• Have difficulty with self-soothing and calming self
• Show extreme emotions: overly happy, overly sad, and overly angry
• At the other end, can seem un-motivated, apathetic and under-aroused
• Have difficulty modulating anxiety
• Exhibit a low frustration tolerance
• Are overly sensitive and may internalize things
• Can hold onto feelings longer than most
• May exhibit inappropriate outbursts of emotions

A child with struggles in problem solving will...

• Have unrealistic expectations
• Keep doing same thing over and over despite the fact that it is not working
• Exhibit poor time management
• Have a poor understanding of cause and effect
• Show difficulty with predicting consequences
• Over-reliance on others to solve problems for them
• Give up easily
• Have difficulty generating alternative solutions
• Do not learn from mistakes
• Get stuck
• Become overly focused on goal and outcome without realizing the steps to get there
• Not see their part in problems
• Struggle to see the big picture and get stuck on details
• Be overly literal in their interpretation of events and language
• Have difficulty reading social cues and the impact they have on others
• Lack initiative
• Withdraw instead of engages in problem solving
• Have difficulty with being pushed out of comfort zone

From this new place of understanding we will help you develop Best Practice Parenting Tools to help your child with these issues.

Parenting to Success Workshops

Family Ranch Days

Did you ever wish you had an owner's manual for the most difficult job on the planet?

We've started a new series of educational and experiential workshops to teach you skills to increase your competence, foster your potential to parent with more confidence, and create a sense of community with other parents.

If you live well...your child lives well. Successful parenting is about you first becoming the kind of coach your child needs to become socially and emotionally competent in the world.

Research shows that social and emotional skills are the number one predictor of adult success and happiness and parenting a child with struggles in this area is especially challenging. You learn strategies that foster Competence by:

• Improving communication and problem solving
• Developing a social mindset
• Building emotional resilience
• Creating greater connection in your family

You are your Child's Most Valuable Resource. Have you ever been discouraged when the "how to" books did not produce the desired results? The secret is not in the how, it starts with the who. We foster your parenting Confidence by helping you:

• Unleash your strengths and inner resources
• Recognize how your own childhood effects your parenting
• Explore issues that limit your effectiveness
• Develop tools that support managing your emotions

It takes a Community to raise a child. Every parent at some point has felt drained and alone. Raising a child in today's world can be overwhelming. This is especially tre for parents of children who struggle. You will experience a sense of Community that allows you to:

• Learn from other parents that share your struggles
• Gain inspiration and renew your sense of hope
• Share you challenges, pain, successes and joy

Call Dr. Duis to learn about our upcoming programs at 925-256-4400 or e-mail caduis@msn.com